“In short, my Lady and my Lords, my duty is to tell you, even if you were to look at this case with the most magnanimous and generous set of eyes, even if you were to be as benevolent as Father Christmas… this case before you is a story full of sound and fury but which signifies nothing. The case before you is much ado about nothing, and you must tell the Petitioner, “This is not the Supreme Court of the Republic of Kusadikika.” It is the Supreme Court of the Republic of Kenya. It is to be expected that when you move this solemn court, you don’t put us in exercises that leave other civilisations wondering why we have to waste the time of the Supreme Court or, God forbid, even the Small Claims Court, dealing with allegations of the type before you, which cannot be believed even by the most gullible person. Let the works of fiction be left to…Grisham, James Hardley Chase, James Bond… I regret and pity all of us that we came to deal with such a spurious matter.” Dr Muthomi Thiankolu, 01 September 2022